Profound Knowing, Sensing, Feeling

I had a very profound day.

So, as I sit here with mellow music on and candles burning all around me, I reflect  back on what was so profound about today.  As it is with the profound, it is challenging to put into words.  It is a feeling, a knowing, a sensation in my body.  I will do my best:

It was a very productive day;  I scoured my refrigerator (which I cannot remember the last time I did that, felt really good), baked all morning (peanut butter bites made w chick peas, PB, honey and raisins-quite tasty actually! And gluten free, egg free bread, yum), vacuumed my house, washed my sheets & comforter, etc.  it was a productive day! 

It was also a very profound day.  While I cleaned the fridge, I had on the Nia routine I am going to learn next.  I love the music, it has the sound of the Native Americans, is very primal while also being upbeat and often fast-paced.  As I watched the video, I saw many of my friends on the current Nia Trainer Faculty.  It was my dream for 13 years to be a Nia Trainer and teach people to teach Nia.  A little over a year ago, I had this awareness that I didn't want to do this, my "life's dream".  I had no idea where this came from, it just showed up and everything surrounding me was supporting that it was not the path for me. So, I consulted with a few trusted people in my life; one very much in Nia, one who used to be very entrenched in the Nia world and is not at all now, and one who has never even done Nia.  I wanted insight and mirroring for what I was seeing, feeling & sensing in my body.  I simply needed and wanted support and love, not anyone to tell me what I should do, that was my decision and I know that any decision I make, it is important for me to call on the people in my life to assist me in seeing clearly, as to not fool myself and/or make a giant misguided mistake.

As I watched the video, I had no pangs of wishing I had been there.  No pangs of wanting to be immersed in that world.  For u see, Nia was my box.  My cocoon encasing my butterfly, if u will.  Being a trainer was my box.  It was my story I had held sacred for so long.  Now, it no longer fit, even more so now.  Saying that The changes I have made in the last year are great in a gross understatement.  The changes I have made r profound and they resonate on a profound level within me.  I really am a different person, I feel and know it in my bones and in my soul and have it mirrored back to me in many ways every day.

I'm about to embark on rolling out a "new piece of work for me".  I also had more come to me today about what I will include and what I will not while cleaning, watching and listening to the video.  It is A playshop integrating Feminine Power, Movement and Embodiment.  It is a big step AND it is just the first step on whatever is coming next for me.  I just sense and know (even more so today, in an unexplainable way), that even more is going to shift, change, transform and grow.  The level at which I am being invited to do work within myself is profound, big and unimaginable...even more so last year, not even a glimpse of it, and yet here I stand.  It takes everything in me to focus and allow and do my work as to keep moving forward as I am intended to be doing. 

Now, realize, this decision last year was the exact opposite of comfortable for me.  It was a leap of faith in pretty much every sense of the word AND it was necessary for my next piece.  I didn't consciously know this then, I have always known that everything into my life led into everything else, but had no idea where I was going, I just trusted that this was my way...

How many times have u stopped urself from doing something because it was uncomfortable?  U didn't go to the gym because u didn't have time with all of the other busyness u had going on?  U didn't really examine where ur piece in a misunderstanding was?  U didn't listen to a gut feeling because to put it into play with whatever it was regarding, would be really messy and uncomfortable, for u, for others, for many?

If I hadn't listened to myself and my body, I would not be entering a new phase for me.  I wouldn't have the amazing tribe I have around me now.  I wouldn't be growing in leaps and bounds in every way imaginable.  Listen to u.  Take care of u.  Be YOU!  The "uncomfortable" path might seem uncomfortable now, but just think what it will be like in a few years when your SOUL is extremely uncomfortable with where u ARE...all because u wanted to be comfortable and really, it created even less because u stopped urself.

Listen to ur knowing.  Listen to ur body.  Honor every part of u, even and especially if u have no idea what and where it is coming from.  YOU really know...